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Dating Article Archives
Music, Your Mood, and What It Says About You
The type of music you listen to has a lot to
do with how you approach certain situations. After listening
to a Joni Mitchell album, a colleague remarked that we have
very different music tastes. She said that my tastes were too
"soft" and "whiny". I explained to her that, while working, I
prefer a relaxing album to counterbalance my frustration as a
writer/programmer.
In fact, music has a tremendous influence on
our life. From the songs used in television commercials to
what we listen to for pleasure, our auditory senses are
overloaded on a daily basis. If we can manipulate ourselves
similar to the way commercials do, we can ease the emotional
tension inherent in our daily routine. From road rage to
romance, our lives can run a little more smoothly.
I have a friend who has a bad case of road
rage. He can't drive more than a block without his face
turning red. Children run for their lives when they see him
barreling down the street in his two-tone pickup. When he's
not in the car, however, he is a tolerant, respectable person.
What gives?
Metallica. All he had in his car was loud,
blood pumping music. It pushed his virtual testosterone level
to the point of a knuckle-dragging Neanderthal. When I popped
in a little Wes Montgomery, his road rage all but disappeared.
He didn't notice much of a difference, but all the passengers
quietly remarked at his drastic change of face.
On a larger and more important scale, our
relationships can slip into routines that we don't see as
unhealthy before it's too late. Once we establish a history
with our partner, we also develop patterns that are very
difficult to get rid of. Maybe one of you developed aggressive
tendencies when playing around, such as hitting or biting.
These actions are manifestations of deeper problems.
One way to counteract these patterns is to
consciously go against the natural flow. For example, if you
and your partner listen to stimulating music and have a
contentious relationship, perhaps you should try a more mellow
sound. On the other hand, if the relationship is passive to a
fault, louder more wrenching music might be in order.
Don't underestimate the power that music has
over your emotions. Why do you think they call certain styles
"romantic" and others "fight songs"? Think of what was played
the last time you were at a sporting event. Elvis Costello's
"Pump it Up" is not a song that will put your infant child to
sleep. Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get It On" is an obvious choice
for seduction, but you can get creative with what works for
you and your partner. Sit down and talk about how certain
music makes you *feel*, and you can build and personalize your
own soundtrack.
Try to remain open minded and broaden your
horizons in order to maintain a stimulating environment. This
doesn't mean you have to radically change your life; in fact,
gradually changing your environment will manifest bigger and
better changes in all facets of your life. Having choices in
your life enables you to approach trying situations with a
plan. My friend now has only calming music in his car in
anticipation of his road rage.
Our personalities are constantly shaped by the
environment. Some of that is uncontrollable, but some of it
can be regulated to achieve a desired result. If you find
yourself constantly aggravated, tired, or depressed, change
the station. Pop in a new CD. Control your environment with
hopes of controlling yourself.
©
Dateable.com LLC 2001
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